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29/11/02
Sex, Equality, And Kidding
Ourselves
Fred Reed
Fred On
Everything
Men of today's older generation grew up in the chivalric miasma of their
time, which held that women were morally superior to men, and that civilized men
protected women against any available vicissitude. A corollary was that women
needed protecting. So common has this understanding been throughout history that
one may suspect it of being based in ancient instinct: In a less hospitable
world, if men didn't protect women, something disagreeable would eat them, and
then there would be no more people. So men did. And do.
Instincts have consequences, particularly when the circumstances requiring
them cease to exist.
Because women were until recently subordinate, and in large part played the
role of gentility assigned to them, men didn't recognize that they could be
dangerous, selfish, or sometimes outright vipers. They were no worse than men,
but neither were they better. Men believed, as did women, that women were tender
creatures, caring, kind, and suited to be mothers. Males deferred to women in
many things, which didn't matter because the things women wanted were not
important.
When women came into a degree of power, it turned out that they were as
immoral, or amoral, as men, probably more self-centered, and out for what they
could get. Not all were, of course, as neither were all men, but suddenly this
became the central current. This too followed lines of instinctual plausibility:
Women took care of children and themselves, and men took care of women. It made
sense that they should be self-centered.
These newly empowered women knew, as women have always known, how to wield
charm, and they quickly learned to enjoy power. The men of the old school didn't
notice in time. They deferred, and they were blind-sided. They gave gentlemanly
agreement to one-sided laws hostile to men.
Political deference became a pattern. It remains a pattern. It probably
springs in part from the male's instinctive recognition that, by giving women
what they want, he gets laid. Between individuals this worked tolerably well,
but less so when applied to abstract groups.
When women said they wanted protection against dead-beat dads, the old school
fell for it. They were attuned to saving maidens and the sheltering from life's
storms of white Christian motherhood. "Dead-beat dads" was of course that
sure-fire political winner -- an alliterative slogan of few words that embodied
a conclusion but no analysis. So sure were men that women were the kinder
gentler sex that they never bothered to look at the statistics on abuse of
children, or the track records of the sexes in raising children.
The romantic elderly male believed -- believes -- that women were the natural
proprietors of the young. This led to laws virtually denying a divorced father's
interest in his children, though not the requirement that he pay for their
upkeep. The pattern holds today. Male judges in family law defer to women,
almost any women no matter how unfit, and female judges side with their own. The
demonstrable fact that women can and do abuse and neglect children, that a
female executive clawing her way up the hierarchy may have the maternal
instincts of a rattlesnake, that children need their fathers -- all of this has
been forgotten.
The reflexive deference continued. Feminists wanted congress to pass a vast
program of funding for every left-wing cause that incited enthusiasm in the
sterile nests of NOW. They called it the Violence Against Women Act, and men
deferentially gave it to them. Of course to vote against it, no matter what it
actually said -- and almost no one knew -- would have been to seem to favor
violence against women. A law to exterminate orphans, if called the Domestic
Violence Prevention Act, would pass without demur.
There followed yet more male deference to female desires. When women wanted
to go into the military to have babies, or a Soldier Experience, men couldn't
bring themselves to say no.
When the women couldn't perform as soldiers, men graciously lowered standards
so they could appear to. It was the equivalent of helping a woman over a log in
the park, the legal and institutional parallel of murmuring, "Don't worry your
pretty little head about a thing."
On and on it went. The aggregate effect has been that women have gained real
power, while (or by) managing in large part to continue to exact deference and,
crucially, to avoid the accountability that should come with power. A minor
example is women who want the preferential treatment that women now enjoy, and
yet expect men to pay for their dates. In today's circumstances, this is simple
parasitism.
Today men are accountable for their behavior. Women are not. The lack of
accountability, seldom clearly recognized, is the bedrock of much of today's
feminist misbehavior, influence, and politics. Its pervasiveness is worth
pondering.
A man who sires children and leaves is called a dead-beat dad, and
persecuted. A woman who has seven children out of wedlock and no capacity to
raise them is not a criminal, but a victim. He is accountable for his
misbehavior, but she is not for hers. It is often thus.
Consider the female Marine officer who complained that morning runs were
demeaning to women. A man who thus sniveled would be disciplined, ridiculed, and
perhaps thumped. Yet the military fell over itself to apologize and investigate.
Again, men are held accountable for their indiscipline, but women are not. Men
expect to adapt themselves to the Army, but women expect the Army to adapt to
them. And it does. The male instinct is to keep women happy.
Note that a woman who brings charges of sexual harassment against a man
suffers no, or minor, consequences if the charges are found to be unfounded --
i.e., made up. A man who lied about a woman's misbehavior would be sacked. He is
accountable. She isn't.
Yes, large numbers of women are responsible, competent, and agreeable. Few
engage in the worst abuses, as for example the fabrication of sexual harassment.
Yet they can do these things. A man cannot throw a fit and get his way. A woman
can. Only a few need misbehave to poison the air and set society on edge. And
the many profit by the misbehavior of the few.
People will do what they can get away with. Men assuredly will, and so are
restrained by law. Women are not. Here is the root of much evil, for society,
children, men and, yes, women.
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